I Can't Complain

More From the World of Elves

When last we saw Twinkle, she was playing with a set of dominoes she found in the cabinet.  Turns out, our elf never learned to clean up after herself, so when she moved on to her next spot, she just left all those dominoes knocked over on the floor.  H-bomb, who is constantly being reminded to clean up after himself, was terribly put out, and had a little talk with the elf about the house rules.  She seems to have gotten the message, because the next day, the dominoes were put neatly(ish) back in their case and returned to the games cabinet.

On Wednesday, the 3rd, she decided to check out the wine room.

On the 4th, she decided it might be fun to hang around in the new bathroom. 

I wonder if her arms got tired. 

On the 5th, she visited with the Snoopys (Snoopies? What IS the plural of Snoopy?) I have in the bedroom. She really seems to like the one that gives kisses when you squeeze his hand.

On the 6th, she heard that one of the Bomber's friends was coming for a sleepover, so she tried to stay out of the way.  The cat was none too impressed by her idea of "out of the way," though.

Back when the Bomber was in kindergarten, his teacher made each child a lovely stocking, which I think was hung in the classroom until the start of Christmas break.  When it came home, I had the bright idea to hang it on the fireplace mantle in his room.  He immediately decided that meant Santa would fill both his room stocking and his real stocking downstairs.  Since he was an adorable 5 year old at the time, I cheerfully filled it that year.  Three years later, I'm wondering when I became such a sucker for cute faces.  (Actually, it's great - I fill the bedroom stocking with books, and he hangs out in his room Christmas morning for way longer than he otherwise would.  He gets to read, we get to sleep!) 

But I digress... Twinkle likes the bedroom stocking too.

The next day, the 8th, Twinkle continued her annual tradition of reading "A Visit from St. Nicholas" to a gathering of stuffed buddies.  Somehow I failed to take a photograph of this one, which is really disappointing, since it's one of my favorite elf activities.  It's cute, take my word for it.

On the 9th, I think she was exhausted from reading time (which I definitely understand), so she just found a comfortable perch on the top of the (very large) tree.  She did escort all the buddies back to H-bomb's room before she left, so I guess she's learned her lesson about cleaning up.

 

On the 10th, she found a good spot among the tins on top of the kitchen cabinets.  I guess she's a a fan of bourbon.

 

 

 The next day she did a little reconnaissance work for Santa, and checked out the condition of the living room fireplace (it's not good, btw).

On the 13th we were having a bunch of people over, so on the evening of the 12th Twinkle wisely picked an out-of-the way spot where no one was likely to bother her.

 

Larry was not too excited to find an elf in his boots, and he spent the day alternating between complaints about "elf cooties" and saying "there's an elf in mah boot" a la Woody from Toy Story. H-bomb thought it was hilarious.

After the party, Twinkle helped herself to some leftover cookies:

 Pay no attention to the chipping paint on my kitchen windowbox, mkay?

And finally, on the 14th, Twinkle took a little time out to play her favorite game. As you can see, she really gets into it.

She even made her own world:

That's it for now from the world of elves.  Stop back again to see what Twinkle does next!

The Elf Returns

I wasn't going to do any public photos with Twinkle this year, mostly because there seems to be a lot of negatively flying around this season and this elf on the shelf thing brings out the worst in some people.  I really don't get it - if you like it, do it, and if you don't like it, don't do it.  Seems fairly simple to me.

I don't stage big scenes with our elf - sometimes she does wacky things, sometimes she just moves to a more comfortable spot in the house, and even the silly things she gets into typically take me about 30 seconds to think of and less than five minutes to execute.  I put exactly as much effort into it as I feel like given on any particular day, and every morning the H-bomb makes whatever effort I made well worth it - the pleasure he takes in searching for her, and the joy when he finds her are why I do it. 

So, in spite of what I said about all the negative reactions, I decided to post these anyway, because someone actually asked for them.  (I hope she wasn't just being polite...) So here's what our little elf has been up to so far this year.

She arrived the night of Thanksgiving, as she always does, and brought a note, which I completely failed to photograph.  Larry pointed out that she seems to have gotten a fancy new computer, since her note was very well designed and printed, but I think they probably just have a nice computer lab up there at the North Pole.

Friday night she took it easy, and just moved to a comfortable perch where she could get the lay of the land:

Saturday night she decided to check out the grandfather clock that belonged to my dad, as it's new since she was last here:

Sunday night she spent hanging out with Minion Dave.  She even had her own pair of Minion glasses!  I wonder what they talked about. Probably bananas.

Monday night, she got into a little trouble in the kitchen, but don't worry, she eventually found her way out:

The note in front was added by H-bomb and reads "Please do NOT use this glass."  He was very concerned that she wouldn't be able to get out, and really relieved when he saw that she'd moved on.

Last night she found this old set of dominos in the games cabinet:

Very festive!

So what's she going to do next?  Who knows? (Not even me...)  Stay tuned, and I might even remember to post some more before next December!

What I'm Wearing: Second-to-Last Second Grade Reading

I haven't been doing reading fashion updates lately, mostly because the second graders have pretty much stopped commenting on my clothes and shoes.   I guess my rock star status has come to end.  I always knew it would, but I thought it would last a little longer. Who knew seven and eight year olds could be so jaded?

My shoes did attract a little interest today, though, and since I have been reduced to grasping at crumbs of attention from small children, I took that as a sign that I should blog today's outfit.  So here's what I wore:

The dress is the Sweetly Scalloped Dress in Mint, from ModCloth. It's really stretchy and comfortable and I love wearing it. The shrug is from Old Navy two years ago, in white - I could only find a picture of the orange one, which I also own.  I bought the bracelet for a dollar from a vendor at Broadway at the Beach, and it makes me think of summer whenever I wear it.  The necklace is one of those Scrabble tile necklaces (letter L, only one point) and it was a gift. 

But the shoes... the shoes are the absolute best part of this outfit.  I am not at all surprised that my second grade admirer liked them. She clearly has excellent taste, and obviously appreciated the tactile quality of them as well as the style - she copped a few feels of the toes and heels while I was reading. They're In My Dreams from Irregular Choice.  Here's a better picture:

I love the little kitten heels, and even the soles are adorable!

The best part about these shoes is that I got them for $10 during a ModCloth Stylish Surprise (you pay $10 for something they choose).  These are by far the best thing I've ever gotten from a Stylish Surprise, and I never would have picked them out for myself.

Here's how I look in it all:

Next Thursday is my last ever second grade reading time.  I honestly can't believe how quickly the year has flown by.  In less than two weeks, the Bomber will be a rising THIRD GRADER. But I'm just going to gaze adoringly at my shoes and try not to think about that for now. 

 

There's an Elf on Our Shelf

Let me just start out by saying that yes, we have an Elf on the Shelf.  I know people think they're creepy, I know everyone thinks the thing with the dinosaurs is cooler, and everyone hates those people who do fun things with their elves every day for being overachieving bee-otches.  I got it.  You are totally entitled to feel that way, and if you do, I encourage you to skip my blog for the next month or so.  Hopefully I'll be back to posting fashion and non-controversial crafting in a month or so. (Though lately, it seems like any crafting is somehow viewed as an affront to those who don't have the time or inclination to do it... but that's a story for a different post.) Anyway...

Twinkle the elf joined us two years ago, when the Bomber was five.  At the time, I wondered if he was already a little too old for it, but he really enjoyed it and he's actually gotten more into it each year. This year he is REALLY excited about her.  This may well be the last year he believes the whole thing, though, so I thought it would be fun to document her adventures. 

Unlike a lot of shelf elves out there, our Twinkle is very well-behaved.  She never causes messes that someone would have to clean up, and she never does anything destructive or disobedient.  She sometimes leaves notes, and occasionally a small gift, but mostly she just shows up in silly places around the house. 

This year she arrived Thanksgiving night, and H-bomb found her first thing Friday morning. She came bearing a note from Jingle, Elf-in-Charge, letting the Bomber know that she'd been assigned to him again this year.  The note came on official Elf Headquarters stationery.   Twinkle apparently had some downtime after she arrived and before H woke up, so she changed the Lite-Brite on his nightstand from the smiley face that was there to a festive Christmas tree:

The Bomber was SO EXCITED when he found her.  He ran around upstairs looking for me and Larry, and then finally came into the bathroom while I was showering. He was practically stuttering with excitement when he told me she was there.  Then he ran downstairs to find Larry and insisted he come upstairs immediately to see her.  He read the note to us, and then we had a fun discussion about how cool it was that we got a note from the actual Elf-in-Charge. Who even knew there was such a thing? 

We spent most of Friday out of the house, so Twinkle must've decided to visit with friends around the house.  When he woke up Saturday morning, H came creeping into our room way before the authorized "wake up Mom & Dad" time, and whispered "Mommy, can I go look for Twinkle?"   He eventually found her on the mantle over the living room fireplace, hangin' with the matryoshka.  Twinkle seems especially fond of the second-smallest one:

On Sunday morning, the Bomber discovered that his elf has a sweet tooth.  He must have caught her in the act, because she didn't quite make it out of the Halloween candy before he came down:

And finally, this morning Twinkle left a fun message from Santa regarding the Bomber's current status:

So far, so good, apparently:

So that's it for now - check back later in the week and see what else our elf has been up to!  Four days down, and 23 more to go.  What is Twinkle going to do all month? I have no idea...thank goodness for Pinterest!

 

The More Things Change...

...the more they REALLY stay the same.  Like, actually the same.  As in, my child has somehow been wearing the same uniform shorts since he was in 5 year old kindergarten. 

Today was his first day in second grade.  And before I go on about how my string bean-y child has gotten taller but not wider, let us just pause for a moment while I freak out:

SECOND GRADE!!! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!??  For some reason, second grade has hit me harder than first grade.  It seems so much more like a big kid grade, in a way that first grade didn't really, at least to me.  He was totally fine this morning - in fact, I had to stick my face in between his and the letter he was reading at his desk in order to get a goodbye from him - but I am sitting in my office a little teary-eyed, feeling like the years are passing far too quickly.

And while I'm still feeling teary-eyed and sentimental, I should probably mention how awesome the Bomber's school is.  It has often been said that our school community is like a family, and this couldn't be more true - we love and support one another, hang out with each other, and sometimes we annoy each other, but we always know we can depend on each other, and not just the other families in our children's grades, but EVERYONE.  All the teachers know all the children, the big kids look out for the little ones, and our children know that this is a place where they can feel safe and secure. For people like us, whose biological families are far away, it's comforting to know our other family is there for us.

Okay, break's over.

Tears and sentimental journeys aside, I realized something incredible this morning. The H-bomb has apparently been growing upwards, but not outwards.  How do I know this?  Because the shorts he wore to 5K, when he was just a wee sprout, heading out into the big wide world of elementary school:

Are the same shorts he wore on the first day of first grade:

And again today, on the first day of second grade:

Granted, he's showing a little more knee these days, but nothing outrageous... I'm thinking if I let the hems down, he could wear them to his first day of third grade, too.

 

A Story of Plastic and Time

 

Once upon a time, a small boy's aunt came to visit, bringing with her a large cardboard box full of plastic and metal pieces:

The small boy's parents objected to the introduction of yet another piece of plastic detritus into their lives, but when the pieces were all assembled (by the small boy's much larger cousin), it looked like this:

And there was no denying how much the small boy loved that pile of plastic pieces.

The small boy and the plastic car had many wonderful adventures together.

 

Five years later, the small boy, now much larger, took his final ride in that plastic car, now a little faded but still sturdy:

And then the plastic car was passed on to another small boy, who greeted it with the very same joy and excitement that first small boy had all those years ago.  And the first small boy's mother managed not to cry. Not even a little. Until just now, of course.

Time marches on and small boys get larger and larger.  And mothers remain the same weepy mess.

A Few Thoughts on Expectations

Lately on Facebook and other social media, a blog post has been circulating about how holiday celebrations for what used to be minor holidays (or not holidays at all) have gotten out of control.  I'm not going to link to the blog - if you have elementary school-age children you probably know which one I'm talking about, and if you don't, you probably don't care.

Anyway, the main point of the post was that "over-achieving" parents that make a party out of St. Patrick's Day, Pi Day, Arbor Day and the third Monday of every month are making life hard for the parents who don't want to do that stuff.  In fact, I just re-read the blog today and there's an addendum that basically says that - "You should do whatever you want at home, but don't do it where my kids can see it, because then they're disappointed that I didn't do it."  The addendum also implies that anyone who was offended by the original post is probably offended because they're That Parent and they should rethink their choices.

(I wasn't terribly offended, but I admit I was a little perplexed, and somewhat annoyed.  I realize that some people reading this may well think I'm That Parent.  I make homemade Valentine's Day cards, I replicate things I found on Pinterest, and yes, I even give goody bags at birthday parties.  Everyone should feel free to get their stones ready to throw.)

So the main problem, from what I can gather from the blog and comments thereto, is not the over-commercialization of formerly religious holidays (see, e.g. Easter) or creation of made up holidays (see, e.g. Pi Day), but that my doing something I enjoy, for my kid who also enjoys it, is causing your kids to have unrealistic expectations of you.  And if that's your real problem, I honestly don't care.  Last time I checked, it was not my duty to make sure that everything I do is exactly in line with what you would do, so that your children don't expect something they can't or won't get. 

This is called parenting, folks.  Don't want to give out homemade Valentine's Day cards or throw a birthday party for every kid in the class?  Don't.  If your kid asks why not, you need to explain to them that every family does things differently, and you family does (or doesn't do) X, Y or Z.  If you object to candy in Valentine's Day cards, take it away and tell your kid your family doesn't eat candy.  Don't want to do the creepy Elf on a Shelf thing?  Don't do it, and feel free to tell your child that your family doesn't want any creepy looking elves around. (In the interest of full disclosure, we have a creepy elf - sometimes she does Pinterest stuff, mostly she just moves from place to place - and my child loves her.)

It's not my job to manage your children's expectations - it's yours. And it's not anyone's job to make sure your child never has unrealized expectations or disappointments.  Life is full expectations that aren't fulfilled, and the world is full of people who are going to get something your kid doesn't get.  Trying to prevent your kid from ever wanting without getting is just as damaging as giving them everything they ever want.

Your children have to learn to live in a world that doesn't conform to your or their expectations, and it's your job as a parent to help them do that. There are tons of things out there that my child sees other kids getting or doing and doesn't get or do. And until people stop letting their kids watch crappy Nick Jr. television shows, when I want my kid to only watch PBS Kids, or eating fast food, when I make mine eat organic fruits and vegetables, or hell, stop having more than one kid, so my only child will stop expecting a sibling, I'm not going to stop making homemade Lego-shaped gummies for class Valentine's Day cards.  If you don't want your kid to have them, that's okay. Throw them away, and explain why - because that's your job, not mine.

And by the way, if you came for a fashion post, I apologize that your expectations were not realized.  Check back tomorrow, though - I'll have photos of the shoes I custom made for the Bomber and his classmates using leather I tanned myself from a calf I raised from birth.

Bits and Pieces About the Bomber

The H-bomb has been hilariously six lately. I wish I could I just follow him around recording the things he says and photographing his life. Unfortunately, I never have a notepad when I need one, so I don't remember half the stuff he says and does, but I have managed to commit a few things to memory:

1. He just finished plowing his way through a series of books called The A to Z Mysteries which, as you might guess, have alphabetical, alliterative titles like "The Absent Author" and "The Bald Bandit."  The other day at the library, he was pulling out the last few books in the series.  "So, here's the Xed-Out X-Ray, The Yellow Yak Hat and The Zombie Zone."  Having never heard of a yak hat, I said, "Yak hat? What's a yak hat?"  "I don't know, but I think it's a hat you wear on a boat," he said.  "A hat you wear on a boat?" I said. "Why would you think that?" "Well, there's a picture of a boat on the cover!"  At which I point I actually looked at the book:

I don't know about you, but I think a yak hat sounds kind of awesome.  I don't look that great in yellow, though.

2. A few weeks ago, Larry was out of town and the Bomber, who senses weakness with predatory skill of a wolf pack, got me to buy him one of those small toys you see hanging on clips in the juice and snack aisles at the supermarket. (Thanks SO much, Publix...) This one in particular is an alien made with polyacrylamide or something similar (I looked that up, by the way) that makes it expand up to 600% when placed in water.  H-bomb is FASCINATED with this thing.  He soaked it in a pitcher of water for almost a week and checked its progress daily.  Then he took it out, let it shrink back to its original size, and started again, this time measuring the starting size and maximum size achieved.

Until a few a days ago, it was floating around in my downstairs bathroom, looking a little like that Area 51 scene in Independence Day:

"Release meeeeee." At least it's not projecting psychic orders to die into my brain. Yet.

3. At bedtime, the Bomber likes to have his reading light on and some music playing from his MP3 player, so one of us usually goes in there later and turns them both off.  The other night, Larry went in and discovered him asleep on his back, with a book open over his face. The next morning I joked about him falling asleep with a book on his head, and he said "Oh, I did that on purpose. I like to do that in case I wake up in the middle of the night and want to read without having to pull my hands out from under the covers." Oh sure. That makes perfect sense. Uh huh.

4. A completely gratuitous picture:

First Friday 1st Grade Fashion Report: Birthday Edition

Today is my *cough* twenty-ninth *cough* birthday!! (Again.) And what better way to spend your birthday than at a continuing legal education course describing all the many ways lawyers can screw up the lives of themselves and others!  Okay, I bet some of you could think of maybe a few better ways, although that's how I spent my birthday morning. It was almost as much fun as oral surgery.

Luckily, though, the CLE was only a half-day, so I got to go read to my first graders, which IS an awesome way to spend your birthday! We had a great time reading about how the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (or, as my mother and apparently most of the rest of the country call it, the Macy's Day Parade) got started.  The parade is one of my very favorite things about the holiday season, and I was thrilled that the kids were excited about it too!

I didn't get a SINGLE comment about my clothes or shoes today, which was surprising because my shoes, my jacket and my skirt were all pretty tactile, which tends to invite both comment and investigation. I like to think they were just distracted by the awesome books. It can't have been that they didn't like my outfit, right?

Here's what I had on:

The skirt is velvet, from Boden from two seasons ago.  I bought it thinking it would be good with a black sweater or jacket but the "black" on it isn't, really - more like a very dark midnight blue, and it looked odd with black.  I wore it with a black sweater once and was dissatisfied with how it looked, so I stuck it in my closet and promptly forgot about it. 

This season, I saw the jacket at Coldwater Creek (which is billed as "faux suede" but is really more like a moleskin than an actual faux suede) and thought it might work with my oddly-colored velvet skirt.  The shirt is from New York & Co. and has adorable rhinestone-y buttons down the front.  The boots are by Naya, via Zappos, and I absolutely love them. They're super-comfortable and really unique - I get comments on them all the time (though not from the first graders!!). 

The Movado museum watch and hearts on fire earrings were both gifts from my beloved husband. The watch I've had forever, but just recently got a strap and battery for it and started wearing it again.  The earrings are a more recent addition.

Here's how I looked in it:

Honestly, I'm a little disappointed (okay, CRUSHED) that first grade fashionistas had no comment. I thought at the very  least the boots would be exciting - they're fuzzy! and they have bows! But alas, they appear to have become jaded.  I guess I'll just have to work a little harder for next week. I wonder if those fish shoes are still available...

Friday 1st Grade Fashion Report: October 12, 2012

Want to know how to attract the undivided attention and adoration of a group of six year-olds? 

Wear this:

Then show one (just one, though!) of the kids that it's actually a pocket watch, and let him open it up. Wait approximately 4 nanoseconds for the other kids to realize someone got to do something that they didn't get to do. Before you know it, you'll have all 15 six-year-olds clambering for a turn.

So, I wore this watch today, never dreaming that it would cause such excitement amongst the short people.  It's cute, but it's kind of impractical - every time I lean over my desk, it clunks against the edge, and I think I actually clocked (hah, get it? clocked?) one of the 1st graders in the head when I leaned over to hug him.  He didn't seem to mind, though.

Also popular with the six-year- old set were these boots:

They're ancient Nine West boots - super-comfortable but nothing special - or so I thought. The whole front row was quite taken with them. One little boy even said I looked like a firefighter in them. (I feel certain that he meant this as the highest possible compliment - firefighters are COOL, people.)

The rest of the outfit was pretty simple.  This dress,

over black leggings. 

No picture of me in it, though - all the pictures I took were so horrifically bad, I'm embarrassed to post one. And you've seen my pictures, people - imagine how bad these must've been. 

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this timely post. (Hah, get it? Timely? You know...the pocket watch?  I crack myself up!)