I Can't Complain

For Want of Something Better to Say

I’ve really been jammed up lately, and kind of not in the bloggy mood, I think because of all my preschool solar system homework (which is a story for another post) and the scintillating presentation I was preparing on the new Uniform Adult Guardianship and Protective Proceedings Jurisdiction Act (which is way too boring to be a story for another post). So I’m stealing this from my friend Tara, just to have something to say.

1. Were you named after anyone?
My older sisters. They were named first, get it?  I slay me… okay, no. My mother just liked the name.

2. When was the last time you cried?
I cry all the time since the Bomber came along. Which is not to suggest that he makes me cry. It's just that I' m way sappier than I used to be. That kid totally ruined my iron-fist-in-an-iron-glove rep. Now I’m a big pile of mush.  Yesterday I teared up over something with one of my imaginary friends. Real cry?  My beloved husband said something thoughtless to me about how I was dressed Tuesday morning, and I cried over that. The Friday right before that, I got weepy at the circus – THE CIRCUS – because I realized it would be H-Bomb’s last trip there with his daycare/preschool.  A couple days before that, I cried over having to make a 3-D model of the solar system.  See, I told you – the kid messed me up.

3. Do you like your handwriting?
No, I hate it. I’m a lefty, and have a weird grip even for a lefty. I struggled with handwriting all through school, and I was actually worried that I wouldn’t pass the bar(s) because they wouldn’t be able to read what I wrote. Apparently those people are good at reading chicken scratch.  This is why all my scrapbooking, card making and journaling is done on the computer.

4. What is your favorite lunch meat?
I don’t know that I really have one. I was going to say cheese, because I frequently eat cheese-only sandwiches (and there's nothing like a good cheese and potato chip sandwich with mustard), but I realized that’s not actually a meat.  So… turkey, but only when accompanied by cheese.

5. Do you have kids?
Just the one I mentioned up there that made me all sappy. He’s 4.5, knows everything, never stops talking and is pretty stinkin’ awesome.

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Absolutely. I'm awesome.

7. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Nope. Never. Nooooo way. Actually, that was some right there.  I frequently say it’s my defining characteristic.

8. Do you still have your tonsils?
Unless some mad tonsil thief broke into my house one night and stole them, yes.

9. Would you bungee jump?
Not just no, but HELL no.

10. What is your favorite cereal?
Cheerios.  Actually, to be completely accurate, it’s Publix Greenwise Organic Toasted Oat cereal. I know, that’s really boring. 

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Only if they have laces. Untying the slip-on and zip-up ones takes way too long.

12. Do you think you are strong?
I think I'm tough, but I'm not sure if that's the same as strong.

13. What is your favorite ice cream?
Vanilla. Coffee is a close second.

14. What is the first thing you notice about people?
Their smile (or lack thereof).

15. Red or pink?
Green.

16. What is the least favorite thing about yourself?
My telephone phobia. I’m not actually afraid of telephones – it’s not like I run screaming when I see one – but I do wish I was more comfortable making and receiving phone calls. I’ll go to great lengths to avoid having to do it, and I’ve been known to beg my husband to do it for me.

17. Who do you miss most?
Right this second? My friend Claire – I used to see her every day, but now I don’t, and I'm having a day where I keep thinking “I need to tell this to Claire” or “Claire would think that’s hilarious” and then feel sad she’s not just in the next office to talk to.  More generally, I miss my best girlfriends and my sisters, who also count as best girlfriends, who all live too far away to see more than a few times a year. If you mean because of a loss, I’m lucky that I’ve never really lost anyone I was terribly close to.  

18. What color shoes and pants are you wearing?
I'm actually not wearing pants. (I’m wearing a skirt, so all you pervs can just get your mind up out of that gutter!) I am, however, wearing brown boots. And brown socks with pink stripes.

19. What was the last thing you ate?
Penne pasta with chicken, mushrooms & sun-dried tomatoes, from Greek Boys. That thrilling presentation up there at least came with lunch.

20. What are you listening to right now?
Right now?  The secretary down the hall coughing. Music-wise, the last thing I listened to was “Homecoming (Walter's Song)” by the brilliant and grossly under-appreciated Vienna Teng, in the car on my way to work.

  

 

 21. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Atomic Tangerine.  I actually think this question is kind of silly, and I always just go look up the list of Crayola color names and pick one that appeals at that moment.

22. Favorite smells?
A wood-burning fireplace, a freshly peeled clementine and the Bomber’s hair after a bath.

23. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My boss.

24. Favorite sports to watch?
Baseball. And Super Modified Shovel Racing. What? That’s a real sport.

25. Hair color?
The color it grows out of my head? Or the color it currently is?  It’s sort of a dark blond-light browny color naturally, but it’s currently a great light blond with golden highlights, thanks to Pia, High Priestess of Hair.

26. Eye color?
Green.

27. Do you wear contacts?
Only from the moment I wake up, until the last instant before I go to bed. I wear my glasses so I can find the bed after I take them off and find the bathroom before I put them on, and that’s pretty much it.

28. Favorite food?
Pizza. Which is also the 8^th deadly sin, at least according to Jimmy Buffett

29. Scary movies or happy endings?
I like them both.

30. Last movie you watched?
Last movie in a theater was the most recent Harry Potter movie. Last movie at home – Casablanca. “Round up the usual suspects!”

31. What color shirt are you wearing?
I’m not wearing a shirt. (Um, gutters… minds…) I’m wearing a brown military-style suit jacket.

32. Summer or winter?
I used to like them both equally, but my time in South Carolina has made me really wimpy, and now I can’t stand when it drops below about 45 degrees. Pathetic, I know.

33. Hugs or kisses?
Yes, please.

34. Favorite dessert?
To eat, key lime pie. To talk about, pecan pie.

 

35. What book(s) are you reading now?
Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, A Short History of Nearly Everything, and some really trashy Nora Roberts book about a sculptor and a cop finding love in a small town while fighting off a band of Satanists. Really.

36. What is on your mouse pad?
I don’t have a mouse pad. Years ago, I developed terrible tendonitis in my mousing thumb, and switched to a touch pad.

37. What did you watch on TV last night?
Angel, Season 5, Episode 4.

38. Favorite sound?
A train in the distance late in the evening, the bells from the church up the street on a lazy Sunday afternoon in the summer, the little sounds the Bomber makes while he sleeps.

39. Rolling Stones or the Beatles?
Beatles. No question. I named my car after one of them!

40. What is the farthest you have been from home?
Budapest, Hungary.

41. Do you have a special talent?
I'm a peripheral visionary. I can see into the future, but way off to the side.*

Seriously, I don’t know… I can do a lot of things, but I never really think of any of them as special talents. I do make a *mean* 3-D solar system, though.

42. Where were you born?
Pequannock, NJ, in the same hospital as Derek Jeter. Not at the same time, though.

43. What time is it ?
Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?**

Okay, okay, it’s 4:15 PM right now, but thanks to the $*#&%&^ firewall at my office, this won’t get posted until much later.***

 

* That's a quote from Mad About You, one of my all time favorite shows to quote.

** With apologies to Chicago.

***Turns out the firewall problems are fixed, but the problem of my being too lazy and tired to sit at the computer last night remains. I have a trouble ticket in for that, though.  Anyway, these are yesterday's answers. Deal with it.****

**** I certainly do have a lot of these footnote-y things today, don't I?

 

 

Blog...um...52. Or Possibly More. Or Less.

Two years ago I participated in Blog 365 and for six months I managed to post something on this blog every day.  But it was a lot of work trying to think of things to say that might be even remotely interesting, and I started to find it stressful after awhile.  Last year I hardly blogged at all, mostly because I have a preschooler who has performed some kind lobotomy-by-questions on me, and my brain pretty much only has sufficient functions left to keep my heart beating and my lungs moving.

Despite all that, I'm going to start this year with another attempt to blog more frequently, though I am not foolish enough to think I could possibly blog every day for a year. So instead, I'm just going to vow to try to blog at least once each week. If I do it more, that's great.  If I miss a week, I'm not going to beat myself up, but I will try to get one or more up the next week. I'm going to call it Blog 52. Or More. Or Less Isn't So Bad, Either. Catchy name, eh? I'm thinking of trademarking it.

Anyway, being a lawyer, I will now prescribe some rules for B52OMOLISBE, and then undoubtedly proceed to find a way around them:

Rule #1 - I will attempt to post something at least once each week.

Rule #2 - A week is the period from Sunday to Saturday, unless I decide it's not.

Rule #3 - Posts to Stinky Diapers don't count. Unless I decide they do.

Rule #4 - I reserve the right to post stuff about the Bomber here, instead of at Stinky Diapers, especially if I can't think of anything else to say after a particularly grueling week of "Mommy, what would happen if no one had feet?" type questions.

Rule #5 - Wordless Wednesdays, Thursday Thirteens and any other blogging gimmicks floating around out there count. Unless I decide they don't.

Rule #6 - I reserve the right ignore some or all of the above rules.

Rule #7 - This post doesn't count. Unless I can't think of anything else this week, in which case it does.

So there we go - one blog per week, more or less. And I invite anyone who is looking for a little more motivation than "eh, maybe I'll blog something this year" and a little less pressure than blogging something every day, to join me in B52OMOLISBE (tm).

Friday Fives: The Internet

I've been feeling a little down about 'net stuff lately. Blogging is not coming that easily to me, my social medial groups seem slow and boring, and and those that aren't I keep giving me that feeling I'm back in high school. So, these are my top five things about the internet that are currently annoying me:

1. People who seems like they live to disagree with me. If I said the sky was blue, these people would say it's green, and they know better than I do, because their next door neighbor's brother is an astronaut.

2. Disinterest. I don't mean to be all "waaaaah pay attention to me" but I sometimes have the feeling I'm shouting into the wind. *tap*tap*tap*  Is this thing on?

3. Misinformation. Yes, the internet is a great source of information, but just because you read something there, doesn't make it true or accurate. I don't care what that website says, you still have to pay your taxes.

4. Time sucking. This is entirely my fault, but I can sit down at a computer and find that four days have passed without my noticing. Okay, not four entire days, but I can blow an entire weekend nap time just goofing around, which isn't terribly productive.

5. People who don't know how (or can't be bothered) to use it. Seriously, in a world with Google in it, you need to ask dumb questions that can be found with a 3 second search?  Especially since you're already sitting in front of a computer? Here, this might help: http://www.lmgtfy.com/

That said, because I sit at my desk for 8 hours a day, without my connection to the outside world, I think I might go insane. So here's five things I love about the internet:

1. Plurk.  A fun community of varied and fascinating people, these are some of the most welcoming and friendly folks I've ever come across on the internet.  Stop on by - there's always something interesting going on.

2. Keeping in touch. Since I'm pretty phone-phobic, IM, Gchat, Plurk, Facebook and Skype have been instrumental in letting me keep in much closer touch with my friends and family than I would by phone alone.

3. IRL friends I met online. Several of the best people I know, and the best friends a person could hope to have came to me through the internet. Not to mention a few new ones, though one is sadly moving away just when I finally confirmed she's not an axe murderer.

4. The information superhighway.  Yes, you have to be careful about judging the accuracy of what's out there, but you really can find any information you want, someplace out there.

5. Blogs and blogging. Yeah, I'm a little stalled right now (see, e.g. this post), but this every day blogging is really helping me retain my ability to write something other than a dry legal memo. And there are some seriously talented writers out there who I can always look to for inspiration. Blogging has created entire communities and networks that couldn't have existed before, and I'm proud to be an eensy-weensy part of that.

I Can't Complain: The Wordle

I know these word cloud things are old news in the blogosphere, but I've always thought they were fun. Plus, my lunch date stood me up, so I had nothing better to do at lunch, and I couldn't think of a decent blog topic that didn't involve bitching about my *$*%&^$# car needing a new alternator.

Anyway, I'm pretty amused at how often I use ellipses and the word literally. (Probably too much in both cases, but it's my blog and I like ellipses and the word literally. So there. Nyah. *ahem*) 

Anyway, here's the one I generated today:

Nifty, eh?

This Blog Is Sadly Devoid of Answers

I feel like I need to say that right at the outset, since lately a lot of people have come here apparently hoping for answers to their burning questions or the cure for what ails them.

For example, there's an awful lot of you with coffee maker issues. I get at least a couple of referrers from coffee-maker-issue-related searches a week. So let me just put it out there... I solved my coffee maker issue by buying a new one. And as a solution, it worked fabulously for me, but it may not be what you caffeine-deprived Googlers were hoping for.

Also, there's very little information about hens, big and fat or otherwise, on this blog. Just one passing reference and some images I stole from somewhere else. Look elsewhere for answers as to what to do about your overweight chicken, what that whole crazy nursery rhyme really means, and how to roast a large fowl.

As the person who wanted to know if you can have a picnic in 46F, I'm not even clear whether that's a temperature or a location, but either way, I have no idea. I suggest you consult your landlord or decide based on your personal tolerance to cold.

I can't tell you what things you shouldn't tell your girlfriend (though personally, I think you should err on the side of disclosure) or what things you can't do to an American flag (check with a boyscout).  My butt is decidedly not tight these days, so you can just move along, too, buster.  I don't have any pictures of tooth decay (though if the parents of H-bomb's classmates keep it up, I just might), I don't have a job for Perry Mason (but he was a lawyer, if that's what you were getting at), and if you've had an HVAC accident, I suggest you call 911, rather than surfing the internet.

If you've got an an achy back, chills or a sniffly nose, lord knows I feel your pain, but I can't tel you what you have or how to get rid of it.   I have no clue why you'd put vinegar on your holly bush, unless you're planning on adding some oil and croûtons and having a salad. I don't know why I shouldn't complain; in fact complaining is one of my favorite pastimes and I have no intention of stopping any time in the near future.

And finally, speaking of complaining, to the person who asked "God how do I get grown children to stop complaining?"  First, I'm not *actually* God, though I've been told I act like I am on occasion.  Second, I have no grown children, and I can't even figure out how to get a two year old to stop complaining.  I'd suggest you ask my mother, but clearly, she doesn't know how to get her grown children to stop complaining, either.

I hope this has clarified all the issues you random visitors to my blog might have. I realize, however, that it probably hasn't and for that, I apologize. Try to have a nice day anyway.

A Blog on Blogging

I realized this morning that I have been doing this daily blogging thing for just over two months. I'm simultaneously surprised that two months have gone by so quickly and overwhelmed at the idea of ten more ahead.  It's been both as difficult as I anticipated and as rewarding as I'd hoped.   It's daunting at times to feel like you have this task hanging over your head, every single day, which is why I've embraced Wordless Wednesday with such enthusiasm - it's way easier to dig up a photo or two than it is to put pen to paper (or more accurately, fingers to keyboard). 

My biggest obstacle is coming up with topics. Because of other demands and time constraints in my life, I find some days simply pass with no inspiration as to what I should blog about (see, e.g. yesterday's rerun).  I've looked at few of those "tips for finding blog topics" lists but they're not terribly useful.  They mostly offer advice like "blog what you know about" (I'm glad they explained that before I wrote that 1000 words on nuclear physics), "write something humorous" (Really? Because I thought people wanted to read boring, depressing stuff) and "make a list of topics" ( #1. "Blog about blogging." Check. #2. Um....)  One list suggested looking to your comments for inspiration, so if any of you in the audience have anything to say, just shout it out. Don't be shy. 

On the other hand, I now find myself looking for humor in all kinds of seemingly mundane day to day transactions, and this has had positive effect on my generally outlook on life.  (I've apparently also made my next door neighbors paranoid that I'm going to blog about them, which means I intend to torture them by mentioning them in my blog as frequently as possible for at least the next week. ;-))  More importantly, I've found it's easier to zip out a couple hundred words (once I've decided on a topic) without agonizing over every letter the way I used to, and this was really the ultimate goal of this little project. 

I'm also having a lot of fun. I really like looking at the search terms that lead people here (and man, there are a LOT of people out there with blinky lights on their coffee makers) and whenever someone mentions they've read and enjoyed something I wrote, it makes me really happy.  And the comment from the guy from the toy company, totally sent me over the moon! So enough of the navel gazing for now, and on with more driving lessons and tales of the Money Eating House. And thanks to everyone who's reading.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

It's Sunday at 10 PM (do YOU know where your children are?) and I still haven't thought of a single thing to write today.  It seems like Sundays are my hardest days for thinking up interesting blog topics.  I suspect it has something to do with the contrast between my days Monday through Friday, as a lawyer, supervisor, colleague and employee, along with wife and mother, and my weekends, which are devoted entirely to my family. And because Monday through Friday I do have those other roles, on Saturdays and Sundays I tend to immerse myself in wife and mother. 

Don't get me wrong - the weekends are my favorite part of any week, and Larry and the Bomber are the greatest things that ever happened to me. But there's a reason that by Sunday the mental tally of blog topics I generally having running around in my head sounds something like this:

1) The cute song H-bomb made up today. ("Barack Obama, Barack Obama needs something to eaaaatttt")

2) The giant bag I just ordered so I could finally retire my extremely-fashionable-but-still-a diaper-bag, and whether the fold-up potty seat will fit in it. (It's Roxy Sweet & Tender in Scuba Blue): 

3) Whether I remembered to fill out the forms to reserve H's spot at school next year and sign up for the trip to the circus next month (I didn't, but I don't think they're late yet).

4) If Larry really liked the sausage and peppers or just ate them to be polite. (I think he really liked them.)

I swear that two days I ago I had a bunch of other stuff on that mental list, but I guess there's only so much space in my brain, so they had to give way to make room for my musings on whether H-bomb enjoyed his playdate today and how bummed I am that Larry had to spend the day at work instead of with us. It's hard sometimes, to go back and forth like that - it's almost like being two different people sometimes - but it's totally worth it. Even if it means my Sunday blogs are pretty boring.